So this is what will make eggs cheaper?
Jesus fuck. This cunt just cut NIH’s indirect cost payout to 15%, but at least we have plastic straws. This is going to cripple hospitals, universities, and all biomedical research in the USA.
Newsflash: his mission is to destroy the United States.
They didn’t go anywhere. You can get them. The Woke Police aren’t going to glitter your door down and trans you. Buy all the plastic straws you want.
They didn’t go anywhere. You can get them.
And seventy some million voters suddenly forgot this was true as soon as they read about this great achievement from their God-king.
The Woke Police aren’t going to glitter your door down and trans you.
Speak for yourself.
I am all The Woke Police on this blessed day :)
The Woke Police aren’t going to glitter your door down and trans you
Okay, but what will they do this for? Asking for a friend…
Deadnaming, obviously
And this helps me pay for groceries, how?
When a turtle chokes on a plastic straw, it will float to the surface, beach itself, and you can strap it to the roof of your car and drive it to your cottage where your family can feast on it for days.
And with the planet warming, the beach will come right to you!
Maybe you’re one of those families that buys mostly straws. The ones you see with little children huddled and sobbing around their parent who is desperately trying to hold back tears while explaining, “we can only afford 13 bags of straws this week instead of 36 because woke took away our plastic straws. And while duck calls will work just fine with biodegradable straws, they don’t have the same mouth-feel as the ones that choke sea turtles.”
that’s the neat part
The hero we need! Finally someone to stand up for little oil against big our children’s future!!!1
I’ve got a plastic straw in my drink right now?
Thanks, Trump.
wow, a president is trying to bring back plastic straws that are already still here. get this guy on rushmore today…! why haven’t other presidents done things that are as great?
lemme guess. he slobbers all over his straws and the one time he was served a paper-based straw it got a little ‘mushy’.
like windmills ruined his golf course view so they must be the worst way to generate energy
I hate doing coke with the paper ones.
If you’re really old school, McDonalds used to give out coffee stirrer spoons.
Bruh what is paper money for
Buying the coke.
Why don’t coke dealers take Venmo?
Money is duel use when it comes to cocaine.
Thems fightin words!
Peanuts!
Well, I for one have now completely reversed my opinion on this whole kerfuffle we are all enjoying so much.
It was the final straw?
Not anymore. Thank you, supreme leader!
