Good. I’ve seen stuff on that sub back when I used that site. It’s takes “I don’t want to have kids and society should stop making me feel bad about it” to the extreme of “nobody should have kids and people that do are child abusers”.
I’m not about to @ people for having kids, but I have to say that in my experience, the whole idea is nothing but a conceit. People want kids for bad reasons. There’s really no sensible reason to have a child in the human world. Fine, go have kids, but don’t come back years later upset your kid is rebelling or not following your beliefs or doing bad things or not following in your footsteps or listening to your advice or whatever the fuck. You basically played a slot machine with no jackpot.
Do people often blame you for their kids doing those things?
People might tell you about it because… you know… maybe they think you’re a friend or maybe they’re just venting or maybe they’re making small talk.
Parents often make the mistake of thinking everyone understands what it’s like. They’re trying to find common ground by sharing those struggles.
If you don’t like it, just channel the conversation to something you do like. That said, sometimes it’s just good to let people vent. People like talking about their kids, and it’s a sneaky way to ingratiate yourself to them.
I have two kids, and I had them so that I could raise good, caring people to continue society, and because I enjoy being able to nurture them to reach whatever goals they want.
I want my kids to rebel. I want my kids to think for themselves. I’m an atheist, and my kid wanted to learn about Christianity, so I took them to church. I don’t need my kid to “follow in my footsteps,” I want them to do whatever they find fulfilling.
The best part of parenting is not knowing what to expect and watching what they’ll grow into. You’re right, to a degree, about the slot machine, but you’re wrong about there being no jackpot.
But if you get no enjoyment from that, by all means, don’t have kids. In fact, if you’re on the fence or unsure, don’t have kids. The default should absolutely be no kids unless you’re really sure that’s what you want.
Also meaningfully addressing the underlying causes of an enormous amount of anxiety. Therapy is good for and should be easily available to everyone, but you can’t therapy your way out of rampant climate change, wealth inequality, and governmental rot.
Well adjusted people would be more inclined to believe experts in their respective fields than thinking they know everything. They’d also be less susceptible to fearmongering propaganda.
It wouldn’t fix anything overnight, but it would certainly improve everything over time.
I don’t know if it’s mentally unwell to not want children or to question the sanity of having children in this current society or other such situation like the poverty 2/3rds the world experiences.
As a parent, I feel guilt for my child to have to put up with this bs, especially in the workforce that I have dealt with in the 21 years I’ve been working. This shit sucks, and I hate living in this capitalist society we’ve built. There’s no logical way to escape it and just live freely.
And I’m poor in America. It’s even worse being poor outside of America. I honestly think it’s mentally unwell to keep having children in those circumstances.
And let’s add some context before I get chewed out by the smiling happy NT people:
I am autistic. My son is autistic. Life is very difficult and stressful every day because society was not built in any way that fits us. We have priorities and needs that run completely opposite of American society, its economy, its structure. The toiling for ten hours, coming home in the same traffic, raising kids until night, getting an hour to yourself, then bed to just wake up and do it all again for 40 years just feels like death.
Acting upon a perceived moral imperative to prevent others from procreation demonstrates a lack of interpersonal boundaries. Mentally fit people don’t kill themselves in fertility clinic explosions.
Well obviously that individual was mentally unwell. But the sentiment that one shouldn’t have a child by their own choice due to environmental circumstances by itself isn’t mentally unwell.
I don’t believe people should make that choice for others, but it shouldn’t be seem so abnormal if one does feel that way because, well, *gestures around wildly *
I think you were talking about people who believe in not having kids, and the other commenter was talking about people who want to blow themselves up to prevent others from having kids.
It would be a whole lot better if more people took care of their mental health, and we didn’t elect psychopathic narcissists into the highest office in the US.
I believe anyone who is capable of processing our current reality and the course we are heading down, who still chooses to create a life, is knowingly performing a selfish and immoral act.
I think it’s ethical to shame them for prioritizing their own desires over the life of their child.
I don’t think it’s ethical for laws to decide who can have children, but I also think letting anyone have children is not sustainable for our species. So ideally a solution to overpopulation is an educated population that makes their own individual responsible decisions.
If i were given total control I would probably force aspiring parents to adopt until there are no unwanted children left. Then we can think about making more
Humans are mostly sentient biological machines at the end of the day, hard wired for an instinctual need to reproduce. Without children, everything falls apart. South Korea, Japan, China, Germany, US, etc etc all have declining birth rates. Fortunately for many Western countries, we’ve had immigrants to provide a buffer against the inverted age demographic pyramid crisis. South Korea, on the other hand, is looking at essentially a full economic collapse by 2060 because their birth rates have continually declined for so long and right now is at 0.76.
So tell me, when millions of old people are dying from neglect and no access to healthcare, food, etc. from lack of workers in 2070, will you be sitting there with such a mighty, holier than thou attitude? Probably, because you likely just have an edgy hot take that humans are garbage and deserve to go extinct. Such deep moral philosophy, you should teach in college.
One doesn’t have to think that all humans are trash and deserve to die in order to think that it’s not cool to bring a whole ass human into a shitty situation so that the labor pool stays stable.
I think this is one of the challenges of the internet. If I’m at work, school, the store, etc. and I see a nutjob, I can usually recognize it and I will treat that person differently and I sure the heck aren’t going to give his opinions a lot of credibility. On the internet, we are all equal. It has some benefits, but there’s a major disadvantage that people suffering from serious delusions are treated the same as everyone else.
Good. I’ve seen stuff on that sub back when I used that site. It’s takes “I don’t want to have kids and society should stop making me feel bad about it” to the extreme of “nobody should have kids and people that do are child abusers”.
Sadly, they seem like a lot of broken people.
I’m not about to @ people for having kids, but I have to say that in my experience, the whole idea is nothing but a conceit. People want kids for bad reasons. There’s really no sensible reason to have a child in the human world. Fine, go have kids, but don’t come back years later upset your kid is rebelling or not following your beliefs or doing bad things or not following in your footsteps or listening to your advice or whatever the fuck. You basically played a slot machine with no jackpot.
Do people often blame you for their kids doing those things?
People might tell you about it because… you know… maybe they think you’re a friend or maybe they’re just venting or maybe they’re making small talk.
Parents often make the mistake of thinking everyone understands what it’s like. They’re trying to find common ground by sharing those struggles.
If you don’t like it, just channel the conversation to something you do like. That said, sometimes it’s just good to let people vent. People like talking about their kids, and it’s a sneaky way to ingratiate yourself to them.
Jesus Christ what a depressing take.
I have two kids, and I had them so that I could raise good, caring people to continue society, and because I enjoy being able to nurture them to reach whatever goals they want.
I want my kids to rebel. I want my kids to think for themselves. I’m an atheist, and my kid wanted to learn about Christianity, so I took them to church. I don’t need my kid to “follow in my footsteps,” I want them to do whatever they find fulfilling.
The best part of parenting is not knowing what to expect and watching what they’ll grow into. You’re right, to a degree, about the slot machine, but you’re wrong about there being no jackpot.
But if you get no enjoyment from that, by all means, don’t have kids. In fact, if you’re on the fence or unsure, don’t have kids. The default should absolutely be no kids unless you’re really sure that’s what you want.
Just because you struggle to have a normal relationship, doesnt mean we all can’t.
Not broken. Just mentally unwell. We have a national mental health crisis. Normalizing and increasing accessibility to treatment is vital.
Also meaningfully addressing the underlying causes of an enormous amount of anxiety. Therapy is good for and should be easily available to everyone, but you can’t therapy your way out of rampant climate change, wealth inequality, and governmental rot.
Well adjusted people would be more inclined to believe experts in their respective fields than thinking they know everything. They’d also be less susceptible to fearmongering propaganda.
It wouldn’t fix anything overnight, but it would certainly improve everything over time.
I don’t know if it’s mentally unwell to not want children or to question the sanity of having children in this current society or other such situation like the poverty 2/3rds the world experiences.
As a parent, I feel guilt for my child to have to put up with this bs, especially in the workforce that I have dealt with in the 21 years I’ve been working. This shit sucks, and I hate living in this capitalist society we’ve built. There’s no logical way to escape it and just live freely.
And I’m poor in America. It’s even worse being poor outside of America. I honestly think it’s mentally unwell to keep having children in those circumstances.
And let’s add some context before I get chewed out by the smiling happy NT people:
I am autistic. My son is autistic. Life is very difficult and stressful every day because society was not built in any way that fits us. We have priorities and needs that run completely opposite of American society, its economy, its structure. The toiling for ten hours, coming home in the same traffic, raising kids until night, getting an hour to yourself, then bed to just wake up and do it all again for 40 years just feels like death.
And who wants to be forced to subjected to that?
Acting upon a perceived moral imperative to prevent others from procreation demonstrates a lack of interpersonal boundaries. Mentally fit people don’t kill themselves in fertility clinic explosions.
Well obviously that individual was mentally unwell. But the sentiment that one shouldn’t have a child by their own choice due to environmental circumstances by itself isn’t mentally unwell.
I don’t believe people should make that choice for others, but it shouldn’t be seem so abnormal if one does feel that way because, well, *gestures around wildly *
I think you were talking about people who believe in not having kids, and the other commenter was talking about people who want to blow themselves up to prevent others from having kids.
You are correct 🫡
Agreed. This place is a nightmare. Lol
It would be a whole lot better if more people took care of their mental health, and we didn’t elect psychopathic narcissists into the highest office in the US.
One could argue forcing a child to be born into a dying world “demonstrates a lack of interpersonal boundaries.”
Ah, you’re also an ecofash doomer anti-natalist, that’s why you’re defending this guy.
Not ecofash
Not a doomer
Not an antinatalist
Sorry
Do you believe someone other than the parents should be empowered to make that determination?
I believe anyone who is capable of processing our current reality and the course we are heading down, who still chooses to create a life, is knowingly performing a selfish and immoral act.
That’s fair, but I was asking if you believe it’s ethical to enforce that opinion on others.
I think it’s ethical to shame them for prioritizing their own desires over the life of their child.
I don’t think it’s ethical for laws to decide who can have children, but I also think letting anyone have children is not sustainable for our species. So ideally a solution to overpopulation is an educated population that makes their own individual responsible decisions.
If i were given total control I would probably force aspiring parents to adopt until there are no unwanted children left. Then we can think about making more
Such deep moral philosophy over here.
Humans are mostly sentient biological machines at the end of the day, hard wired for an instinctual need to reproduce. Without children, everything falls apart. South Korea, Japan, China, Germany, US, etc etc all have declining birth rates. Fortunately for many Western countries, we’ve had immigrants to provide a buffer against the inverted age demographic pyramid crisis. South Korea, on the other hand, is looking at essentially a full economic collapse by 2060 because their birth rates have continually declined for so long and right now is at 0.76.
So tell me, when millions of old people are dying from neglect and no access to healthcare, food, etc. from lack of workers in 2070, will you be sitting there with such a mighty, holier than thou attitude? Probably, because you likely just have an edgy hot take that humans are garbage and deserve to go extinct. Such deep moral philosophy, you should teach in college.
One doesn’t have to think that all humans are trash and deserve to die in order to think that it’s not cool to bring a whole ass human into a shitty situation so that the labor pool stays stable.
Jesus Christ
Why is the purpose of me being alive to wipe boomers’ asses after they threw the world in the trash?
It’s not my problem, if they want a sustainable system where the old are supported they had their whole lives to make it happen.
Alternatively they can fucking quit their positions of power so younger people can fix their mess.
Reddit is the place that proves that this society have an extreme mental health issue.
I think this is one of the challenges of the internet. If I’m at work, school, the store, etc. and I see a nutjob, I can usually recognize it and I will treat that person differently and I sure the heck aren’t going to give his opinions a lot of credibility. On the internet, we are all equal. It has some benefits, but there’s a major disadvantage that people suffering from serious delusions are treated the same as everyone else.
Removed by mod