I hear that they prefer to be called MAGA, not monkeys.
Did the Epstein files escape too?
They were not infected with anything, and they posed no threat to humans. That was all just something claimed by an inbred hick sheriff, who was looking for an excuse to use his military equipment to kill monkeys.
Quick someone call Dustin Hoffman!
Now that’s a headline that isn’t clickbait, it fucking click kidnapped me
Except that it did turn out to be lying clickbait.
Damn. I’m taking stock of everything we’ve lost in the headline:
- no reference to “slammed,” “burned,” or other intense attack words
- accurate summary of the situation
- nothing overstated
- no key details left out
- isn’t a listicle
- nothing inviting the reader to see more by promising the rest of the headline in the article, none of that saved-you-a-click shit
My god, this might actually be good honest journalism!
They changed to article. Edited out all references to diseases.
So crappy journalism.
Edit Apparently a lo of people have mentioned this here. I simply didn’t read far enough.
They forgot hepatitis
It was in the article. Emphasis on was since the entire article has been changed since I posted
Not real.
“diseased monkeys pan careless driver”
According to authorities, the Rhesus monkeys were on their way to a testing facility in Florida
“Florida Man’s Outbreak Monkeys on the Rampage in Mississippi”
If you go back and re-read the article, you’ll find it’s been edited, and now has no mention of any diseases and says the monkeys weren’t infectious. So I think it was clickbait, after all.
That’s just what the corpos over at Big Rhesus Monkey wants you to think.
That’s how they get ya
Has the article been edited since being posted here? Because it doesn’t mention any of those diseases, and actually says the monkeys weren’t infectious.
Yes it’s kinda crazy they completely changed the article and there’s no indication that they changed it
Clickbait and switch.
Yup. When I read the article a few hours ago, it was a lot scarier than it is now.
Everybody makes occasional mistakes, but the journalistic norm is to append a correction, which isn’t here. Something like, “An earlier version of this story incorrectly reported that the escaped monkeys would kill you and your family. WLBT regrets the error.”
It’s probably because it’s all AI generated bullshit. There is no real journalism anymore.
The university says that if the monkeys leave the wreck site, they must be shot.
The only counter to a troop of aggressive monkeys carrying diseases dangerous to humans is a bunch of Mississippians running around with firearms who have been waiting for this very moment all their lives.
a troop of aggressive monkeys carrying diseases dangerous to humans
a bunch of Mississippians running around with firearms who have been waiting for this very moment
itsthesamepicture.jpg
Oh I remember watching Outbreak, great movie.
I’m now imagining RFK, Jr. managing a major national health disaster.
He is…
“Managing” is being a bit generous.
Not implying he’s managing well. :-)
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RFK: I vow to hunt down and eat that monkey.
A truck hauling white MAGA overturned?
Oh the horror. The shame of it.
lol, there it is.
I’d make a joke about the coming zombie apocalypse but I’ve given up hope of ever not going to work tomorrow.
Your employer would give you a day off for zombie apocalypse? Most of us would have to take a sick day and bring a doctor’s note.
Is your employer your elementary school teacher by any chance?
I do not understand how Americans just bend over and take this every day, pretending they have no power to do anything about it.
The source the sheriff’s office used is the truck driver.
The university said they do have some monkeys that are infectious, but none were on this semi trailer.
Sheriff’s office didn’t think maybe they should corroborate the truck driver’s story before telling the news there was aggressive infectious monkeys running around.
“That driver there? That’s ol’ Hank. We told ‘em them monkeys had 5G COVID on the account of so he won’t try to have his way with one of ‘em. This is Mississippi after all…”
Low-key curious how said monkey is the driver’s sister.
I would definitely bet the driver didn’t say anything like that and the cops just called in whatever they thought they needed to say to get to shoot monkeys.
Sounds like the first scene of Steven Seagal’s next movie…
Fairly certain this was a film, based on a Robin Cook book….might have been Outbreak.
I was thinking Jason Statham, but yeah.
Probably a generational difference. I’m old.
Someone call Dustin Hoffman!
The headline sounds like the B-movie spoof of this one… “These monkeys have herpes AND COVID… and they’re fucking pissed”
Also the CDC doesn’t have the budget that movie has. Today’s CDC would be lucky to be given a $10 Walmart grabber stick to catch the monkey with.
I didn’t expect the 28 days series to be what turned out to be a documentary but I’m also not surprised
According to the article, the lab is sending someone to pick them up. I feel like the problem with having a shipment of herpes monkeys and COVID-19 monkeys breaking open is that in short order, you’re probably going to have a shipment of monkeys who all have both COVID-19 and herpes, which probably isn’t what the lab wanted.
They also have hepatitis C
Ah, well that’s what the lab wanted. All good.
