Sorry, but continuously analyzing all running processes, blocking half of them, and rerouting all of your TLS traffic through a MITM proxy with self-signed certs that break 25% of your software is 100% necessary to ensure the confidentiality of business secrets. And what would our KPIs be without our company-sponsored keyboard logger and mouse tracker?
Also, our internal process relies on this software from 1973 with endless half-baked additions that takes 10 minutes to open, uses 32GB of ram, and idles at 80% cpu and 90% disk iops for some reason.
No, you can not have permissions to delete the icons on your desktop or rearrange your taskbar. Stop asking.
Add to that doing field work with slow and unreliable internet, and it literally takes 30 seconds to open the context menu in explorer. Gotta wait for corporate.exe to time out first.
At least opening the start menu doesn’t literally take 30 seconds anymore, after a regedit change to stop it from searching online first.
And then the IT department announced that they are finally replacing our obscure, archaic “VPN solution”. I asked, “you are building the new solution on top off WireGuard, right? 😊”
IT: … … 😊
Me: … … 🥲
They ended up BUYING ANOTHER “VPN SOLUTION” INSTEAD 😭
Sorry, but continuously analyzing all running processes, blocking half of them, and rerouting all of your TLS traffic through a MITM proxy with self-signed certs that break 25% of your software is 100% necessary to ensure the confidentiality of business secrets. And what would our KPIs be without our company-sponsored keyboard logger and mouse tracker?
Also, our internal process relies on this software from 1973 with endless half-baked additions that takes 10 minutes to open, uses 32GB of ram, and idles at 80% cpu and 90% disk iops for some reason.
No, you can not have permissions to delete the icons on your desktop or rearrange your taskbar. Stop asking.
Add to that doing field work with slow and unreliable internet, and it literally takes 30 seconds to open the context menu in explorer. Gotta wait for corporate.exe to time out first. At least opening the start menu doesn’t literally take 30 seconds anymore, after a regedit change to stop it from searching online first.
And then the IT department announced that they are finally replacing our obscure, archaic “VPN solution”. I asked, “you are building the new solution on top off WireGuard, right? 😊”
IT: … … 😊
Me: … … 🥲
They ended up BUYING ANOTHER “VPN SOLUTION” INSTEAD 😭
.
That’s why they pay them the big bucks.
.