I’d love to be able to ask directly, but my fear is they’ll treat me differently after I ask. It’s already happened once to me; a friend stopped hanging out with me for a while (I think that’s fixed now, but it lasted months). I feel a bit safer about it around autistic people though, because I’m pretty sure a rejection would be just a “no” and then we proceed like nothing happened.
Oh I also would love to be able to just communicate directly with people, but yeah your fear is not irrational or unfounded, I’ve lost a good deal of acquaintances by just actually answering their questions instesd of telling them comforting lies.
A whole lot of people are really, really insecure snd fragile.
And before someone says it: No, I am not talking about being brutal toward someone who is showing obvious signs of emotional distress, obviously that is the time to be comforting, be a good listener, help people try to de escalate themselves.
…
I also just generally feel safer around other autists, I have gotten to the point where I am 99% sure I will never consider seriously dating another non autist again.
Perks of being a wallflower an autistic hermit:
I can do a really good job of sating my proverbial Sims Socialization meter by having precise conversations via text, over the internet… and then just occasionally strike up some chit chat with an actual human face that belongs to a rando at a bus stop or neighbor that also lives in my building.
Small talk is actually rather fun and easy when it isn’t mandated all the damn time, and you just avoid ‘high stakes’ topics, and it isn’t with someone whose opinion of you could basically destroy your life in some way if you unintentionally offend them.
I’d love to be able to ask directly, but my fear is they’ll treat me differently after I ask. It’s already happened once to me; a friend stopped hanging out with me for a while (I think that’s fixed now, but it lasted months). I feel a bit safer about it around autistic people though, because I’m pretty sure a rejection would be just a “no” and then we proceed like nothing happened.
Oh I also would love to be able to just communicate directly with people, but yeah your fear is not irrational or unfounded, I’ve lost a good deal of acquaintances by just actually answering their questions instesd of telling them comforting lies.
A whole lot of people are really, really insecure snd fragile.
And before someone says it: No, I am not talking about being brutal toward someone who is showing obvious signs of emotional distress, obviously that is the time to be comforting, be a good listener, help people try to de escalate themselves.
…
I also just generally feel safer around other autists, I have gotten to the point where I am 99% sure I will never consider seriously dating another non autist again.
Perks of being
a wallfloweran autistic hermit:I can do a really good job of sating my proverbial Sims Socialization meter by having precise conversations via text, over the internet… and then just occasionally strike up some chit chat with an actual human face that belongs to a rando at a bus stop or neighbor that also lives in my building.
Small talk is actually rather fun and easy when it isn’t mandated all the damn time, and you just avoid ‘high stakes’ topics, and it isn’t with someone whose opinion of you could basically destroy your life in some way if you unintentionally offend them.