PhobosAnomaly

The bigliest number. The greatest. The most number on earth.

My other half worked for a large retail chain in the UK. One of her colleagues (let’s call him Bevin Koyle for no reason whatsoever) was a particularly tiresome dude - not a bad guy by any means, but just super fucking irritating. Very self-centred, happy to dodge responsibility and let a colleague take a fall, and a bit of a gobby twat.

Back when she worked the quieter hours and mobile data plans were quite anaemic, she would put her mobile phone hotspot on for her colleagues to listen to music or whatever.

This one shift, Bevin had run out of data, and already forseeing this situation happening, she had already set the password accordingly. “I can see your WiFi”, says Bevin, “but what’s the password?”

“BevinKoyleIsACunt”, she loudly announces.

“No seriously,” says Bevin, “what’s the password?”

“BevinKoyleIsACunt” she once again says loudly.

Bevin is getting a bit fucked off now, and is like “stop being nasty, give me the WiFi code”

Not grasping the rudeness of his own demands, she says “I tell everyone the same thing, BevinKoyleIsACunt”

He stormed off oblivious to how helpful she had been each time. I still raise a wry smile whenever I remember how supremely helpful she had been.

Ooooh that’ll be a good PPE concept. Maybe make them contrasting colours. A deep red against a white background perhaps. Maybe put a Hindu peace sign in the middle to highlight their friendly intention.

Oftentimes, it was even more wild than that. One flight may have been ten or twelve quid; and the other flight might have been three or four quid. Granted this was ten or fifteen years ago; but some of the low-cost carrier flights were insanely low.

There’s still some crazy low prices to be had if you live near a hub for a low cost carrier, like Stansted or Glasgow Prestwick.

An old colleague of mine worked at a different office - he got fed up of the rat run and took a job within a stone’s throw of Stansted Airport - close enough that a hotel or carpark shuttle bus covered his route.

He couldn’t be arsed with London and Essex house prices so he bought his house near Shannon (yes, in the Republic of Ireland) and commuted by plane every day. The major problem with that was if he didn’t book a flight when they were released (where it was about fifteen or twenty quid return!), or if there was a short notice job came in that changed his hours, he was royally fucked and it cost him a fortune.

I should imagine his carbon footprint was somewhere between “Chinese concrete factory” and “literally burning petrol in the back garden for a laugh”.

A friend of a friend did something similar in east London - couldn’t be holed with the London house prices so got a place in some Paris suburb and commuted by train most mornings, only staying over if there was a staff night out or a late working task planned.

…and I sometimes complain about my ten mile commute.

It’ll be the biggest exoneration, like no exoneration that has ever been seen before. I was on the phone to Chy-naaa and they came to me and said “Mr President, how do you put on such a good exoneration?”

Problem is, asking “don’t well all know” and “I have assumed” don’t meet the evidential threshold for prosecution - and “It just fits” isn’t a compelling legal argument.

I’m no fan of his, but due process should be applied to all - whether it’s a sitting or former president; someone swept up in an ICE raid; or someone contesting a traffic ticket.

Yeah but the weather’s nice isn’t it. Suns oot, taps aff, might as well go and join a radgey outside a golf course.

edit: this sounds like I’m being flippant, I’m not. Crack on boys and girls, go wild

I get it, it’s still jarring though. I get that an LGBTQI+ mag would want to promote his sexuality to prove visibility of senior civil servants or G-men or whatever the US calls them, but it just feels like a qualifier that shouldn’t be necessary.

Happy to learn otherwise though, I’m open to opinions.

yeah nah absolutely happy for the correction!

Fuck me, two tonnes? I bought myself an EV a few months back in an estate shape to replace my diesel estate, and honestly I hadn’t noticed much of a difference. I assume the drivetrains are a bit lighter but the batteries are a lot heavier than a tank full of dino juice.

The driver, George McGee, was sued separately by the plaintiffs. That case was settled.

Good. Fuck that driver. Unless the “flashing red lights”; “a stop sign”; and a “T-intersection” were all on the same junction (or even if they weren’t), scrambling for a poxy phone while you’re propelling a tonne of metal at 70mph is a fucking disgraceful excuse.

That said, as much as I hate Musk, I can’t really see if this case has any legs to be fair. FSD is always “coming next year” so it’s little more than a driver aid rather than a driver substitute.

But yeah, fuck that guy.

It’s incredible really. I should ask him for lottery numbers or stock tips.

Depends how want to feel really! It’s rhyming slang for “dead”. Apologies if it wasn’t clear.

It’s the antithesis of “vote blue no matter who”.

“Vote red, if your kids are brown bread”.

I actually feel dirty just writing that.

I had a team leader ten years ago or more when I worked in a incident management room, where he would be the duty manager for the south of the UK.

You could tell something was going to happen or a griefy job was coming in, because he’d nip out for a fag for fifteen minutes just seconds before the first phone call would come in.

It was almost impressive, and once most of the policy or callout decisions had been made, he’d come back in with a cup of tea oblivious to the whole thing.

Absolute legend of a bloke really, I was just jealous that I didn’t have that sixth sense.

Looks like you tried to do bullet points?

It could be a translation thing. In certain parts of France, “ados” is a bit of a catch-all term for anyone in teenager or young adults years. It’s not strictly defined, but would explain the presence of the word in an English translation.

Well fuck me, every day’s a school day. Thank you.

Not very well I should imagine, but it is a symbolic move and the rumblings of things to come from other organisations.

I should imagine direct imports to Ireland from Israel will stop… but as soon as the goods enter the Schengen zone elsewhere, there’ll be very little to stop them without controls at the zone entry point (unlikely) or inspections at the Irish border (unlikely again).

Happy to be corrected though.