Well I said it in an even matter!

Damn it, I never got to fly on it! Then again, I haven’t been on an airplane since 1977 so….

M orons

A re

G overning

A merica!

I grew an entire field of Fucks this year and unfortunately I’ve already run out of them. Oh well!

You’re absolutely wrong about them. They’re far right PILES of shit, not pieces.

I’d probably have to put in a few extra hours a week to pay that back. Problem is, I’m retired!

The less you know

The less you have to do!

I wouldn’t vote for a republican even for a dog shit picker upper position!

I’m glad I’m retired. Now I can die of something else!

Pretty sure that’s what I had at the seafood buffet yesterday!

How could I forget, I’m a fork’en elephant!

They’ll probably remember this forever!

“Well doggies, Ain’t that something “

                 ~Jed Clampett~